Well, it's been two years since I posted here, I guess it's about time. Anyway I had all these ponderously wonderful thoughts about turning thiry. Then I didn't get around to posting them, and now since it's been almost two weeks, I have forgotten them completely. Yup I got senile for my birthday! It's too bad too I really had this great spiel. Well, anyway to make something wonderfully written into a blurb:
So, this birthday was the first one I looked forward to in a loooong time. Probably since I turned 21. Perhaps it's because I feel legit now, like I am a real adult instead of some teenager thinking I'm all that and not really being it. Perhaps I was excited because I actually feel good! I have been back on my ADD stuff since April. I was pretty much bonkers before then. Being pregnant and having Tristan had sent me over the edge. I had post-partum really bad, for pretty much the a year after having him. I didn't realize it then but I had all the symptoms, but I was waiting for someone else to tell me I needed help. What really clued me in was one time when Iwas flipping through Brent's radio presets and there was an oldies station. For giggles I started listening. The song that was on was "ain't it funny what children say" it started out with silly hopscotch and jump-rope rhymes, and then turned into racist, sexist, and other derogeratory remarks. The song repeated it's chorus about how children say the funniest things, and then the final verse went somber and pretty much smacked you in the face that the kids are learning it from their parents as they are watching them. I turned off the radio after the song was finished. I was deiving in the car at the time, and so I just drove for a while thinking how true that song was, and then it hit me. When Kit played with her toys, all she would do was scream at them, and have them yell at each other not to do things. I had thought this was odd, and tried to get her not to have her toys yell so much. (which I was probably yelling at her to get her to stop yelling). Then I finally got it. Kit's playing was all yelling because that's what I was mostly doing. Could it be that I was teaching Kit to lose her head over the smallest things. So I started watching what I was doing and how I reacting to things. I had lost most of my impulse control. Now that I was aware of it I tried to be calm and more level headed, but I was still losing it over stupid things, and I lacked the ability to stop. Impulse control.... I need my ADD meds!! So anyway I got back on the meds and our home is sooo much happier now!!!!!!!! Kit's toys still do the wrong thing, but now she talks to them and explains why they shouldn't do that. Like today her horse "scratched" her zebra. There was no yelling at all. Kit told her horse not to do that and showed it how it hurt the zebra, and then made it say sorry and gave it time out. Ahhhh that's much better. Not to mention that my impulse eating has ceased and that I am now almost to my Pre-Kit weight! (10 more pounds to go!) So yea, our home is a great place to be. I have several projects going on (and I am finishing them too!) and am keeping busy playing with the kids, knitting, reading, and doing chores. (pretty much in that priority order too. *What do you mean we don't have any cups again?*)
Anyway I'm older and hopefully wiser now. That's good. and as the Tim McGraw song goes:"Lord have mercy on my next thirty years"
